You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
