I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
