There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
