drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
