but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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