I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
