brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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