I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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