i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
