I bet he comes in French.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
