bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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