My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
