I want to stick my p in your. b.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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