you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
