i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
its not stalking. its research.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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