How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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