Banned from zoo.
Again?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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