R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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