Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
