I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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