new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
