I cannot find my penis.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
