I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
