I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
