I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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