Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
