Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
