um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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