Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
