i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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