Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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