How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
