Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have post one night stand depression
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
