Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
