did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
