I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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