So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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