the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
