he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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