I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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