my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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