I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
