Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
