I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
