HIV tests are more positive than that guy
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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