Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
