im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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