I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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