I met the friendliest cop last night
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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