I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
